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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Hurry Caine!


Just when you think you have heard all of the stupid things that are going on in the US -- this comes along...

Black hurricanes....

 
Well, it appears African-Americans (Sorry TL, emails remember?)have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of  Houston), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names.

 
She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaquille, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up!

 
She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report.

 
I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, that's too hard to understand.

 
I can hear it now:
A weatherman in  New Orleans says...

 
Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a rocket!
Bitch be a category fo'!  So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit.

 

We hope this makes Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee Happy !

Thursday, July 14, 2011

GOOD ONE YVONNE!

An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working 
out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing.

    He asked the trainer that was nearby, "What machine 

in here should I use, to impress that sweet young 
thing over there?"

         The trainer looked him up and down and said, 

"I'd try the ATM in the lobby"                  

Friday, July 8, 2011

OH MOM!


 A mother is driving her  little girl to her friend's house for a play
  date.

 ' Mommy ,' the little girl asks,  'how old are you?'
 
 'Honey, you are not  supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother
  replied.  'It's not polite.'
 
 'OK',  the little girl says,
 'How much do you  weigh?'
 
 'Now really,' the mother says,
 'those are personal questions and are really  none of your business.'
 
 Undaunted, the  little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a  divorce?'
 
 'That's enough questions,  young lady! Honestly!'
 
 The exasperated  mother walks away as the two friends begin to  play.
 
 ' My Mom won't tell me anything  about her,' the little girl says to her
 friend.
 
 'Well,' says the friend, 'all you  need to do is look at her driver's
 license.
 It's like a report card, it has everything  on it..'
 
 Later that night the little girl  says to her mother, 'I know how old you
 are.  You are 32.'
 
 The mother is surprised and  asks,
 'How did you find that out?
 
 'I  also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
 
 The mother is past surprised and shocked  now.  'How in Heaven's name did
 you find that  out?'
 
 'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,
 'I know why you and  daddy got a divorce.' **
 
 'Oh really?' the mother  asks. 'Why?'*

 *
 'Because you  got an F in sex.'**